Thursday 22 March 2012

Twelfth Entry: 'The Waves' - 30

The Waves - Virginia Woolf, CRW Publishing, 1931 - p.244

...eclipse when the sun went out and left the art, flourishing in full summer foliage, withered, brittle, false. Also I saw on a winding road in a dust dance the grounds we had made, how they came together, how they ate together, how they met in this room or that. I saw my own indefatigable busyness - how I had rushed from one to the other, fetched and carried, travelled and returned, joined this group and that, here kissed, here withdrawn; always kept hard at it by some extraordinary purpose, with my nose to the ground like a dog on the scent; with an occasional toss of the head, an occasional cry of amazement, despair and then back again with my nose to the scent. What a litter - what a confusion; with here birth, here death; succulence and sweetness; effort and anguish; and myself always running hither and thither. Now it was done with. I had no more appetites to glut; no more strings in me with which to poison people; no more sharp teeth and clutching hands or desire to feel the pear and the grape and the sun beating down from the orchard wall.
    'The woods had vanished; the earth was a waste of shadow. No sound broke the silence of the wintry landscape. No cock crowed; no smoke rose; no train moved. A man without a self, I said. A heavy body leaning on a gate. A dead man. With dispassionate despair, with entire disillusionment, I surveyed the dust dance; my life, my friends' lives, and those fabulous presences, men with brooms, women writing, the willow tree by the river - clouds and phantoms made of dust too, of dust that changed, as clouds lose and gain and take gold or red and lose their summits and billow this way and that, mutable, vain. I, carrying a notebook, making phrases, had recorded merely...

I was recently prompted to evaluate my life so far, most specifically my post-high school years - apparently turning 30 does that to people. Many have a fear of that age, I guess it comes from a societal expectation of achievement by then; a stable relationship (if not, marriage), a degree, career prospects - all the stuff that people picture when people say 'he's doing well'. The trajectory of my twenties didn't really follow that of my friends: I dropped out of uni, spent many years working behind bars, moved states a couple of times, spent a year overseas and then returned to study as a 'mature age student', with graduation now a couple of months away.
   In many ways it would be easy to lament the choices I made and the way in which I lived, and in some cases I still do - that's part of growing up. But I've been largely comfortable with my age now beginning with a '3'. I had more issues when I turned 25 - I recall sitting on my bed with my hand on my head for half an hour at a time, questioning everything about my existence. Not so this milestone (and I use that word loosely) around. At the time, I didn't really have much of an idea of where I was heading or what I was going to do with my life. A year overseas, more specifically, 7 weeks bumming around Europe, meeting different people and spending 9 hour train rides marveling at the old world with mainly my thoughts as company, fostered a determination, and a resolve, that had been missing for some time. That and a drunken accident of the greatest stupidity (my own). I suppose that's why I'm comfortable with 30, because I know that I'm in a better position to launch into my future than I was 5 years ago. 
    On the day my twenties ended and my thirties began I wrote and published this on my facebook page,

 To my twenties,
Today we go our separate ways. During our time together, you introduced me to new people, to the world and to life. We were subject to experiences full of both wonder and pain, love and heartbreak, fun and misery, excitement and utter boredom. Together we traveled and engaged, took advantage of opportunity, made friendships short-lived and everlasting. Our coexistence will be forever remembered, not only by the various scars you have left on my body, but by memories that span the emotional spectrum. Thank you for everything, without you I wouldn't be here today.

That decade was interesting and a lot of fun. There are some things that I regret and would have liked to have done differently, but they're done now and can't be altered, so I don't linger over them. Is that what people fear about turning 30, being forced into a confrontation with not only their past but their future? Does my current ease only exist because I've already dealt with these issues before? Or does it come from a little line that I periodically repeated to myself during travels and the subsequent years: "Dwell for a moment, learn for a lifetime and get the fuck on with it"? 

Who knows, yes and maybe. But at the moment it's peachy and I'm working towards a better life - a position which I am fortunate enough to be in - another reason for my comfort: travel and education exposes one to a world that isn't at all fair. I'm extremely lucky to live where I do - a stable democratic state, where opportunity exists for self-betterment. The fact that I've turned 30, can reasonably expect to live much longer and decide which direction to steer my life is something to be celebrated, not feared, lamented or cried over.

Sunday 4 March 2012

Eleventh Entry: 'Case and the Dreamer' - Creationism, mutants and Mormon missionaries' mind altering experience

Case and the Dreamer: Volume XIII: The Complete Stories of Theodore Sturgeon - North Atlantic books, Berkeley, California, 2010 - p.117

The most exciting thing that ever happened to Harry (aside from rheumatic fever and Susan) was the evening he spent with Timothy Leary.  After that - well, you'll judge for yourself, but before, things had been pretty quiet for Harry.
    Dr. Leary came swinging into Woodstock, New York, bringing with him two younger men, Metzner and Alpert, with shiny shoes, pants with creases, and sharing a professorial rather humorless air.  They reminded Harry of divinity students, straight-spined, quick-minded, with his charisma and his resonant voice; Leary was something else again.
    He used words like "psychotomimetic" and a brand-new one, "psychedelic," and fielded questions like "If I knocked and the door was opened by a man who had taken LSD, what would you look like?"and "Is it addictive?" openly and immediately, all of which interested Harry quite a lot, but it wasn't until afterward, at the Cafe Espresso across the street, that Harry achieved the highest-yet peak of excitement.
    Over cappuccino, Dr. Leary held forth about mutations.  "There are three kinds of mutations, " said Leary.  "Lethal ones, and you can mostly forget about them.  They cause stillbirths, and when they don't, the young seldom survive, and when they do, they seldom reproduce - they're mules, they just don't live long enough to mate.  Then there is the beneficial mutation - saying a herd animal, when one is born with longer and stronger legs.  This one gets away from the predators better than any of the others, and passes the strain on.  The descendants thrive, and in a few, or a dozen generations, you'll find a whole herd with the new legs.
    "But there's a third kind of mutation.  It's the one that just means...

"...bringing with him two younger men, Metzner and Alpert, with shiny shoes, pants with creases, and sharing a professorial rather humorless air.  They reminded Harry of divinity students..."

They are sometimes a nuisance, they can incite bitter ire and to some they deliver word of salvation.  


Most people are content to close the door with varying degrees of abruptness, but in 1999 a couple of guys in Melbourne, Australia, invited two Mormon door-knockers into their home for an enlightened discussion over refreshment and biscuits.  After their visit, the boys weren't feeling well, so admitted themselves to hospital.  The diagnosis?  Stoned.  The charming hosts had fed them a freshly baked batch of hash cookies and somehow managed to keep a straight face.

"There are three kinds of mutations."

This statement is broadly supported by film, comic and television industries.  The three main type of mutants and mutations are characterised by:

The X-Men


To quote Professor X from the first X-men film: "Mutation: it is the key to our evolution. It has enabled us to evolve from a single-celled organism into the dominant species on the planet. This process is slow, and normally taking thousands and thousands of years. But every few hundred millennia, evolution leaps forward."  So the ability to shoot lasers, move metal, talk to machines, control the weather, turn into ice-cream,  and read minds, is an innate, evolutionary step taking place across mankind.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles


A chemical, aptly named 'mutagen', becomes responsible for turtle, rat, rhinoceros, warthog, fly, wolf, snap turtle/human hybrids.  Martial arts, sewer living, junk-food diets, talking brains and words like 'radical' ensue.

The Toxic Avenger & Fallout 3 bad guys













Radiation, known for its real-world cancer giving properties, increases strength, size, anger, heroism or villainousness.

"The descendants thrive, and in a few, or a dozen generations, you'll find a whole herd with the new legs."

Just one of the reasons I'm glad to be Australian is that we are amongst the least religious Western states.  Here, there is no ridiculous argument about the introduction of Creationism into high school science classes.  We do, however, allow the teaching of religion by non-qualified personnel (ie: church volunteers) in state primary schools, but I'm sure that I'll be serendipitously guided to that subject in a future reading.
    Creationism is not a branch of scientific study; it's a system of belief predicated on an archaic text, based solely on faith, not facts.  Science is based on observation, experimentation and research; it seeks to provide answers with tangible answers and is therefore objective - facts after all being facts.  Creationism is subjective. A choice that subscribes to a faith-based doctrine that is limited only to different interpretations of the Bible.
    Schools are places where minds are informed and broadened, a formative space where a student can, through the acquisition of knowledge, learn about the world and determine their own opinions.  They should not be places of religious inculcation and proselytisation.  Give the student a chance to engage their world with facts not fantastical preachings and if they want to believe in intelligent design as opposed to evolution, then that is their choice - but it has been made with a comprehensive knowledge, which in turn gives that choice much greater licence.