'A Discourse delivered before the First Parish in Cambridge on the Sunday following the death f Mr. Andrews Norton, September 25th 1853', William Newell, in The Flight of Years. A Discourse Delivered In The First Independent Church of Baltimore - Rev. George W. Burnap D.D, printed by John D. Toy, 1853, Baltimore, Harvard College Library - p.27
"There are paleness, and weeping, and sighs below;
For our faith is faint, and our tears will flow;
But the harps of heaven are ringing;
Glad angels come to greet him;
And hymns of joy are singing,
While old friends press to meet him.
"O honored, beloved, to earth unconfined,
Thou has soared on high; thou has left us behind.
But our parting is not for ever;
We will follow thee, by heaven's light,
Where the grave cannot dissever
The souls whom God will unite."
In my adolescent and early adult years I maintained strong religious conviction. As I've grown older, learned more about the world, undertaken a tertiary education and accumulated different experiences, those convictions have greatly waned. That being said, every year on the Greek Orthodox Easter calendar, I undergo a week-long lent/fast (put simply: I'm a vegan for a week). I say that I undertake this in memorandum of my grandmother, but is it really indicative of a greater religious belief? The overwhelming reason is the former, but I can't wholly deny the latter. Let me say now that religion has never been forced upon me, it was always my choice.
I guess the best term would be Agnostic. I certainly don't believe in many of the practices and attitudes of organised religions, but I guess for my own comfort I like to put some sort faith into the existence of some higher power. I know it isn't practical.
I don't believe in predestination or any sort of magnificent plan. I believe in the human spirit and our capacity to choose, to act with autonomy and make efforts to shape our own existence. I refuse to believe that a human is destined to starve to death, or that a person's fate is to die cold and hungry down an alley way, in the company of rubbish bins and rats.
I am angered by the application of religious conviction in systems of governance. I believe that Church and State should be separate entities, and that politicians religious beliefs should not undermine tangible benefits to society. Preaching abstinence is not an effective method of curbing AIDS, sexually transmitted infections or teenage pregnancy in any part of the world. Providing access to condoms do. Homosexuality isn't some recent trend that will die out, it's natural for some people to feel attracted to the same sex, not emblematic of sin - for fuck's sake let them marry (go New York!). We are the product of an evolutionary process and the Earth is older than ten thousand years, inculcating otherwise is not an exercise in balance, but one of lunacy.
"For our faith is faint, and our tears will flow."
This is a poem that is sad and beautiful. It mourns, but promises reunion. It comforts the bereaved with the knowledge that their loved one is amongst angels and friends, enjoying them with a soundtrack of harps and hymns. In many writings on the topic of religion, it can be difficult to find any sort of median voice. It is either my preceding rant or 'praise the Lord'. Poems like this demonstrate the comfort that religion can and does provide. At a previous job I would park my car in front of a modern church. I noticed that many of the church-goers were immigrants as well as white folk. This church, as well as providing free English lessons, also brings these people together into a community, where I am sure they help each other find work and forge friendships in a new land. I don't believe in many of the moral restrictions that many religions espouse, but there is much virtue in the work that centres like these perform and the belonging and community that they bring. Whilst not for me, I can respect the worthiness of such a place.
At that same work place, I met a man whose young child was suffering from a terminal illness. That child recently died. This illness was battled over a number of years by dedicated parents and by an exceptionally brave boy. In these years of turmoil, the father 'found God' and became quite devout in his Christian beliefs. Whilst I can never pretend to understand what this man has endured for the last few years and will do for the future, I 'get' why he turned to the church. He found a place of support and people that would listen, and in that he found some measure of solace. It's certainly not something that I would question him about; I think any amount of comfort that could be extended to him was worthy. I know that people would say 'what sort of God allows this to happen to a child' and that's a perfectly legitimate question, one I have no intention of trying to answer nor debate.
I guess my position does lean more towards agnosticism, with an understanding of the role of religion, or better yet; a level of understanding behind the role of religion and why it exists. Not something that I've effectively clarified, but the blog's title is 'Ruminate', not 'Answer'.
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